As I look to the future with twins, tonight, I am thinking about the past. This weekend is the 10th anniversary of September 11th and I live in New York City. I woke up today to a city on edge. Road blocks and police everywhere because of a new terrorist threat. As I left my office downtown, I looked up and saw the rising towers of the new world trade center and had a moment of both pride and fear. The fear was not for me but for my unborn children. What kind of world will they grow up in? How can I protect them from an unknown enemy? When I got off the subway and checked my email I was greeted with an email with a subject of "concern". It was from my mother.
It made me think that a parent never stops worrying about their children. Being far away, she was feeling helpless as she watched the news about a new threat in the city where her son lived. I called when I got home and tried to reassure her that my wife and I were ok and that the city was safe despite the media attention. Her response, "It is my job to worry."
What is my job as a father to be? How am I supposed to protect my family in an uncertain world? Tonight, I will go to sleep and say a prayer for those who died ten years ago and for the friends and family who still mourn. I will pray for those who's lives changed forever that day and I will pray that I will be able to protect my family.
Most of all, I will celebrate life this weekend. My life, my wife's life and the the future life of my children.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Two adults, two infants and the Dog
For a couple of years we lived in a great one bedroom with 600 square feet. Two adults and our dog. For the most part, it worked out well. But it was time to move on up and get a two bedroom. We got a whole 450 more square feet!!! We can now stretch our legs and not trip over the dog who always seemed under foot.
Now, we have two babies to add to this space. Two babies, two cribs, food for two etc....I am thinking of investing in nets, like an old sailing ship but I am sure that will not fit with the overall "design aesthetic" my wife is putting in place. Do they make bunk cribs? Is it legal to use a drawer for the first year or so? I am kidding of course. I saw the Seinfeld where Kramer's house guests got stuck. Lesson learned.
How do you even make a decision on a crib or a stroller? Have you seen these things lately? They cost more than my first car! Check out the Bugaboo Donkey http://www.bugaboo.com/home . This thing should mow my yard for as much as it costs. The problem is, we need it. We live in NYC, don't have a car and walk most places. I wonder how many rickshaw trips I can get for the $2000??? The cost goes up when I add in the storage I will have to pay for. Remember, only 1100 square feet. Search Amazon.com for strollers
Now, we have two babies to add to this space. Two babies, two cribs, food for two etc....I am thinking of investing in nets, like an old sailing ship but I am sure that will not fit with the overall "design aesthetic" my wife is putting in place. Do they make bunk cribs? Is it legal to use a drawer for the first year or so? I am kidding of course. I saw the Seinfeld where Kramer's house guests got stuck. Lesson learned.
How do you even make a decision on a crib or a stroller? Have you seen these things lately? They cost more than my first car! Check out the Bugaboo Donkey http://www.bugaboo.com/home . This thing should mow my yard for as much as it costs. The problem is, we need it. We live in NYC, don't have a car and walk most places. I wonder how many rickshaw trips I can get for the $2000??? The cost goes up when I add in the storage I will have to pay for. Remember, only 1100 square feet. Search Amazon.com for strollers
Monday, September 5, 2011
To Drink or not to Drink
You all may face this question at one point or another. Your wife should not drink to protect your unborn child/children. What about you? This becomes pretty tricky. You may think you are lucky because for 9 months you have a built in designated driver. This is true but it comes with many more problems than you know.
Before you (I mean the collective you), got pregnant there were plenty of late nights with bottles of wine or beer. What happens when you get the question, "Are you setting the right example for your unborn children?" Tread lightly my friend. This is a minefield that is very tough to navigate and can easily blow up in your face. Keep in mind past behavior and be very sensitive to your wife's feelings.
Have you ever been sober while your friends were drinking to their hearts content? Imagine how your wife feels. This is a very thin line. Never get too drunk. Keep in mind that you are part of a team. You are no longer able to be "that guy". Have a drink or two but be conscious of your spouses feelings. I have to admit this is not the easiest thing for me to conquer.
Your wife is experiencing the same hangover you may have every day. Keep it in moderation and keep your wife's feelings in your thoughts. It will serve you better in the long run.
Before you (I mean the collective you), got pregnant there were plenty of late nights with bottles of wine or beer. What happens when you get the question, "Are you setting the right example for your unborn children?" Tread lightly my friend. This is a minefield that is very tough to navigate and can easily blow up in your face. Keep in mind past behavior and be very sensitive to your wife's feelings.
Have you ever been sober while your friends were drinking to their hearts content? Imagine how your wife feels. This is a very thin line. Never get too drunk. Keep in mind that you are part of a team. You are no longer able to be "that guy". Have a drink or two but be conscious of your spouses feelings. I have to admit this is not the easiest thing for me to conquer.
Your wife is experiencing the same hangover you may have every day. Keep it in moderation and keep your wife's feelings in your thoughts. It will serve you better in the long run.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Morning...You mean all day
Be aware there are a few types of morning sickness and it is in thirds. 1/3 have no symptoms, 1/3 have nausea and the lucky few have nausea with vomiting. Get ready if you are in the latter 1/3rd, it is no fun. Be prepared to hold back hair like you did with your college girlfriend that had to much to drink. I have been told to imagine your worst hangover that just repeats itself. If you are a smart man you should just go with the flow and not make any jokes. My wife is not in a joking mood.
If you are like me, and the getting pregnant part was so hard, every pain and grimace is a cause to worry. There is not much you can do but hope for the best and read all you can about what is going on with her body. Don't get freaked out when you read that the eyes are on the sides of the head during the 10th week. As soon as you hear the heartbeat a whole new list of fears appears.
How much is this going to cost? Where are they going to go to college? Who is going to work and who is going to stay home. Be realistic, Can you both work? Can you be a stay at home dad? I have about 5 months to make a lot of decisions.
Well, enough of looking forward, for now just make sure your wife is comfortable and doesn't puke on the floor. If she does and you have to clean it up just think of it as training for the baby/babies that are on the way.
If you are like me, and the getting pregnant part was so hard, every pain and grimace is a cause to worry. There is not much you can do but hope for the best and read all you can about what is going on with her body. Don't get freaked out when you read that the eyes are on the sides of the head during the 10th week. As soon as you hear the heartbeat a whole new list of fears appears.
How much is this going to cost? Where are they going to go to college? Who is going to work and who is going to stay home. Be realistic, Can you both work? Can you be a stay at home dad? I have about 5 months to make a lot of decisions.
Well, enough of looking forward, for now just make sure your wife is comfortable and doesn't puke on the floor. If she does and you have to clean it up just think of it as training for the baby/babies that are on the way.
Friday, September 2, 2011
It all started with....
From the time most of us could remember we were told to "be careful". "You don't want to get her pregnant". "You better practice safe sex". "A baby will change your life".
Nobody told us how hard it can really be when we want to have a child. You find the woman you love and are ready to start a family. No more "safe sex". The reigns are gone. You go all in (pardon the pun). Months go by and the pee stick becomes your enemy. The thermometer and timing are evil. Sex becomes a chore and you start questioning everything about your manhood all the while trying to support your wife.
The next step is the doctors office. Crammed in a room with couples and single women all with a tension on their faces that is hard to see. Is it me? Is it her? How are we going to get through this? The doctor tells you it is not easy as you think. Tests are ordered. You get to jerk off in a tiny room with old porn magazines and even older porn cassette tapes. How did it get this far?
Your life becomes all about making the baby. You get mad at the couple on the street glowing with a new child or the woman with a baby bump. You don't want to face another test or another visit to the sad and depressing room filled with desperate people just like you.
You try, you fail. It is tough and no one tells you how hard this can be. The bills get bigger and the stress mounts for both of you. What else can go wrong? The whole process really sucks.
For me it went on like this for two long years and more than a few disappointments. The day my wife started puking was one of the happiest of my life. Could it be we were really pregnant? Would this end well?
I can't say how it will end but as of right now we have made it through the first trimester and are pregnant with Twins!
After all the heartache now the real stuff starts....
Nobody told us how hard it can really be when we want to have a child. You find the woman you love and are ready to start a family. No more "safe sex". The reigns are gone. You go all in (pardon the pun). Months go by and the pee stick becomes your enemy. The thermometer and timing are evil. Sex becomes a chore and you start questioning everything about your manhood all the while trying to support your wife.
The next step is the doctors office. Crammed in a room with couples and single women all with a tension on their faces that is hard to see. Is it me? Is it her? How are we going to get through this? The doctor tells you it is not easy as you think. Tests are ordered. You get to jerk off in a tiny room with old porn magazines and even older porn cassette tapes. How did it get this far?
Your life becomes all about making the baby. You get mad at the couple on the street glowing with a new child or the woman with a baby bump. You don't want to face another test or another visit to the sad and depressing room filled with desperate people just like you.
You try, you fail. It is tough and no one tells you how hard this can be. The bills get bigger and the stress mounts for both of you. What else can go wrong? The whole process really sucks.
For me it went on like this for two long years and more than a few disappointments. The day my wife started puking was one of the happiest of my life. Could it be we were really pregnant? Would this end well?
I can't say how it will end but as of right now we have made it through the first trimester and are pregnant with Twins!
After all the heartache now the real stuff starts....
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